| Lesson
- December 4, 2004

Love is Self Seeking
Pastor Tom Holladay
Welcome everyone to our
session 5 of the Love Series. We're looking at 1 Corinthian 13
on "Love is not self-seeking". As I was thinking
about that this week, I thought of an old story about a mother who
was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. The
two boys began to argue about who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw this as a great opportunity for a moral lesson, and
so this tender thing happened. She said to her two sons,
"If Jesus was sitting here, He would say, 'I won't be selfish,
I'd let my brother let the first pancake, I can wait.' ".
And so, Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan,
you be Jesus." It's not quite at all what the mother was
expecting..
How can you and I be like
Jesus in the choice to be unselfish? To have that kind of love, is
to have the kind of love that is not self-seeking. Please open
your Bible to Philippians chapter 2, verses 3 to 11 (NIV):
"Do
nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility
consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you
should look not only to your own interests, but also to the
interests of others.
PHP
2:5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
PHP
2:6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
PHP
2:7 but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
PHP
2:8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death--
even death on a cross!
PHP
2:9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
PHP
2:10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
PHP
2:11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."
The Bible
gives us an attitude of not self-seeking, an attitude of humility,
that you and I can find in Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us
some things to say "no" to and some things to say
"yes" to and then it tells us how.
It says,
"Say no to ambition", that's the what's in it for me,
attitude. By the way, this Greek word, "ambition"
began as a word that meant to work for wages. But it grew to
mean, over the years, to work only for the wages, only for the gain
that could come to me. Some of us have taken the exact, same
journey. It's the, "what's in it for me" mentality.
It seems, sometimes, when you think of this thing of ambition, and
there are godly kinds of ambition and I'm not talking about that,
I'm talking about an ambition of "what's in it for me".
It seems
like this is the way it adds up. Ambition equals success,
equals happiness. And, it may look like that way on the
outside, but you don't have to talk to very many people to find out
on the inside that it works this way: Ambition equals
selfishness, equals depression. Because a focus on self always
adds up to depression. So, the Bible says to say
"no" to ambition.
Secondly,
say no to "conceit". That's the "Who is
noticing me" attitude. Remember what Jesus said
about those who do everything so that others will notice? He
said that those people have their reward in full. I don't want
to get my reward in full on this earth just by some other person's
notice. I want a reward that lasts and I want a reward that
impacts other people's lives.
Philippians
also tells us some things to say "yes" to. Say
"yes" to the importance of others. Look very
carefully at what the Bible has to say, "…..
but in humility consider others better than yourselves" More
important? Really?
Some of us
are pretty good at looking at ourselves as less important, let's be
honest, at putting ourselves down. Others of us are good at
considering others moderately important, some of the time. But
neither of those is the attitude here. The attitude here is
considering others, more important. I'm important, you're
important, but, they are more important.
Remember
that old formula for joy? Jesus first, then others, then you.
J.O.Y. (Jesus, others, you). It's biblical. Jesus is the
most important. Others are more important and I am important,
we're all important in God's sight. Joy really comes into our
lives when we consider others to be more important. Because,
then, you don't have to have everything go right in your life to
have joy.
If I went
around your group, and have people raise their hands if they had a
good week, bad week. I would guess that there are some in your
group that had a terrible week. But, consider this, if only
one in the 10 or 15 in your group, had a great week, you can all get
joy from that if you consider others as more important. If
you're the only one that's important, then the focus would have to
be on you.
The Bible
also tells us in Philippians, to say "yes" to interests of
others. Not only that they are important, but their interests,
the specific needs that they have in their life. You and I
need to focus on how we can think about, not only what we need but
what other people need.
I recently
read a story about a Chinese farmer who had a neighbor drained his
field by breaking the dike. These fields had to be filled with
water just about every other day. And his rice had dried in
the sun and he had to deal with this problem that he had. He
first repaired his dike, and then he filled his neighbor's fields
that needed water, and then he filled his own. As a Christian,
this man was a believer, he was saying in a humble action of love,
this is what Jesus is like. This is how to act in love.
Now, my
fear is that in America, our first response is to sue our neighbor,
rather than to serve our neighbor. It's easy to say,
"yes, they're important", but to look after someone else's
interests? Even to someone that has not treated me as I would
want to be treated? That's an entire different way of living.
Look not only for your interests, but also for the interests
of others.
I love the
way Chuck Swindoll makes this practical when speaking on this
passage. He said, "Looking out for the interests of
others, that means the choice traffic spot, who is going to get it.
When the plate of steaks comes, who is going to get the best, or who
gets to choose the TV channel" And more seriously about this,
he said, "marriage separation inevitably breakdown to
selfishness. Somebody, somewhere, was selfish."
So, say
"no" to ambition and conceit and say "yes" to
the importance in the interests of others. Now, all of us know
that it's a great idea, but the question is, how?
How do I
choose to be selfless? How do I choose a love that is not
self-seeking? Jesus Christ shows us the way. In Matthew
11:29 Jesus says,
"
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble
in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For
my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
In
Philippians 2:5, the Bible says, " Your
attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus"
What
attitude was that? Look in verses 6-10:
" Who,
being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
PHP
2:7 but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
PHP
2:8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death--
even death on a cross!
PHP
2:9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
PHP
2:10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,"
You see, in
these verses, three choices that Jesus made in order to be selfless
and have a selfless kind of love. They're not easy choices,
they're the same choices that you and I need to make. He shows
us how by the three things He did:
#1.
He emptied Himself.
This next
verse I've taken from the New American Standard Bible because it
gives you the literal meaning of that word He "emptied
Himself" and became as a man."
"Who
although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with
God a thing to be grasped, PHP
2:7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of
a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. "
Philippians 2:6,7 (NASB)
Jesus made
the choice to say "no" to all the blessings of heaven, to
all the joys of heaven and to become a human being to be born as a
baby. Can you imagine the incredible humility that was a part
of that choice. If Jesus had only been concerned about
Himself, He could have never made that choice.
And so, He
emptied Himself, He said "no" to Himself and He chose to
come and serve others. Now, let me put that in a very
practical way, I need to make a choice to stop taking ourselves so
seriously. Sometimes, our self-importance is what catches us.
It always leads to selfishness. It always leads to indulgence
in our lives.
We need to
see ourselves as less important by seeing really the importance of
how God is at work in our lives. You need to be to smile at
yourself even at great things that God is doing in your life and
realize, 'It's God who's doing it, without Him doing that, it
wouldn't be happening.' This is the way to deal in living a
great life, but also continue to have a selfless attitude.
One of the
dangers in God using your life in a great way, is you begin to
become selfish. You became taking yourself too importantly.
I like what Samuel Morris had to say about the invention of the
Telegraph. He said, "I've made a valuable application of
electricity, not because I'm superior to other men, but solely
because God had meant it for mankind, and He must reveal it to
someone, and He was pleased to reveal it to me." That is
not taking yourself too seriously.
I like what
George Washington Carver, do you remember the scientist who
developed hundreds of useful products from a peanut, had to say.
He said, "When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the
mystery of the universe' but God answered, 'That knowledge is
reserved for Me alone.'. And so I said to God, 'God, tell me
the mystery of the peanut' and God answered, 'Well, George, that's
more nearly your size.' He told me."
That's not
taking yourself too seriously. We need to emptied ourselves of
that part of ourselves that says, "I'm the most important"
and realize that every part, every person in God's creation is
important and God wants to use us to make an impact. First,
you have to emptied yourself, you have to realize, "God's going
to meet my needs, I don't need to take myself too seriously, so I
can meet other people's needs, I can choose to be selfless."
The second
choice that Jesus made, He emptied Himself, and then He obeyed.
#2.
He obeyed
"He
humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death."
Philippians 2:8 (NIV)
Once you've
set aside your selfish concerns, it is much easier to obey God.
Because you'll realize that no one has your best interest at heart
more than God does. That He cares about what you need.
He cares about your needs that can be met in a practical and living
way. Here's the question, when it comes to living a selfless
life, what is your next act of obedience? Don't look at others
around in the group and think, 'What is his next step of obedience,
or hers'. It's a lot easier to think about how other people
need to obey God than you, yourself.
What is
your next step of obedience? When you ask God that question
honestly, and when you ask Him for the strength to live out that
question, that's when you begin to live a selfless life.
Obeying God always leads to living a life that's selfless. The
third thing that happened to Jesus,
#3.
He was exalted
"Therefore
God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is
above
every name," Phillipians 2:9 (NIV)
And you're
thinking, "Well, that's great for Jesus but what about
me?" Well, what does the Bible has to say about us?
Let's take a look:
"For
whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself
will be exalted." Matthew 23:12 (NIV)
Whoever
humbles himself will be exalted! Even in our lives, when you
and I make the choice to be selfless, God exalts us out of that.
Humble yourself and you're exalted. There's an active verb in
that something we do, humble yourself, there's also a passive verb
in that something's done to us, we are exalted. The choice we
make is the choice of humility.
Everyday,
you and I face the simple test of greatness: Exalt yourself or
Humble yourself. Some people thinks that choice is all with
God, but it's not. Jesus says, "Whoever exalts
himself", we get to make the choice. Jesus didn't just
teach this, He exemplified this when He went to the cross and gave
His life for us so that you and I could know what real life is all
about.
"Humble
yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
James 4:10
When you
make the choice to be selfless, God promises to meet your needs.
Do you ever worry when you make a choice to be selfless, 'Who's
going to meet my needs, how is it going to happen?' When you
make the choice to be selfless, God promises to meet your needs.
Now, the
power to make that choice to be selfless is found in three words:
Jesus Is
Lord.
That is an
unchangeable fact, every knee will bow, every tongue will confess,
that Jesus Christ is Lord. This world and this universe were
not created so that my will could be done, so that your will could
be done. They were created so that His Will could be done and
it will. He is Lord and when you're able to say those three
words, you're able to find the power to make the choice to become
selfless.
My question
as we end this, What do you need to do to say those three words?
Maybe you need to surrender, maybe you need to say, "I give up,
I give up my plans, I give up my way, Jesus is Lord."
Maybe you need to trust. Maybe you need to say, "I
trust you, God, like I never have before to be at work in my
life." Maybe you just need to stop procrastinating and
say, "I'll start now, I know what I need to do and I will start
now."
Let's pray
together:
"Jesus,
Christ, we recognize that You are Lord and we do, deep down, want to
make the choice to be selfless but it's hard, it's difficult, it's a
lifetime of growth. Help us to make a step this week in that
lifetime of growth by saying one circumstance, one place where we
could choose because we trust you. We know how much You love
us and we know You'll meet our needs but we can choose a choice to
be selfless, we can make a choice to love like You love. Give
us the strength to do this by Your power. We praise You in
Your name, Amen.
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